When My 'Elevator Speech' Needs Elevating

“What kind of rate of return are you getting?”

He’s asked the question and I’m scrambling to figure out how did we get to this horrible place.

I look down. In one of my hands there’s punch contained by a small clear plastic cup, and something fancy on a cracker in the other. It’s like the scene from ‘Inception’ where Leonardo Di Caprio’s character points out you never remember how a dream started and asks, “so how did we end up here?”

In this case, however, I can remember how we ended up here, and it’s all my fault. A few moments ago, this nice man asked me a perfectly valid question for a business card mingle, “What do you do?” Before answering, I did what I sometimes do, which is pause, think about the vast scope that my work entails, try to think of a quick way to summarize it, and then chicken out and say exactly the last thing I should say: “Well, I’m a Financial Security Advisor.” What a terrible answer.

Why was it a terrible answer? I didn’t answer his question. Priding myself on being a great listener in an industry that needs great listeners, I didn’t tell him what I do, I told him what I’m called.

It is my official title, it’s what is used for marketing materials, and if I were to hand you a business card, it would be right there:

Galen Nuttall, M.Ed.

Financial Security Advisor

The problem is my business card barely knows me. It certainly doesn’t know what I do. It spends most of its time in a suit pocket in my closet. It knows my title, but looking at it will give you little insight into what it is I actually do.

And this led him to ask a question I get all the time, “what kind of rate of return are you getting?” That’s because when I panicked and declined to tell him what I do, opting instead to tell him my title, he filled in the blanks of what a financial security advisor does. In his case, as with many people, what he filled in was something like this: “I get people high returns on their investments, because that’s the best way to measure success.” And who can blame him? Turn on the news, read a blog on investing, or pick up a book on stock picking. The be-all end-all measure for success of an “investment guy” is often boiled down to two things:

Low fees.
“High” rate of return.

And if the first answer is deemed sufficiently low and the second answer sufficiently high, people slap some stars or thumbs up on that puppy and call it a day. I’m about to show you to what extent these two points miss the mark of what it is I do. Spoiler alert… they completely miss the mark.

Now, let’s pretend by some miracle I’ve been given a do-over, the hands of time rewind and a voice (maybe Leo’s) says: “Galen, let’s try again, swallow that bacon-wrapped water chestnut, and tell this man what you do.”

I clear my throat and say: “I help busy professionals sleep better at night.” Assuming he wants to hear more, he’ll let me continue. “I help passionate individuals define their personal and professional goals, then set up a strategy to meet those goals. I coach them along the way and focus on what makes a difference and tune out that which does not. I help them feel clarity and calm around their financial lives. I strive to care about them more than any other professional they’ve ever met. If they have a corporation I make sure it’s a sail for their financial ship and not an anchor. Last of all, I know I’ve done a good job when, at some point in time they tell me that they feel at peace around their finances, or the ultimate compliment, that they sleep better at night thanks to me.”

Still interested in what rate of return I’m getting? Don’t get me wrong, I do look at long term rates of return, I do help align portfolios with clients’ plans, but it is not my sole focus or measure of success. I’ve met a lot of people whose sense of calm and direction help them sleep and none whose quarterly investment statements help them sleep, no matter what they look like.

Maybe as a father of two small children, I overvalue a good nights' sleep, but for me it is truly the ultimate compliment. And when I do help my clients sleep better at night, I hope they have great dreams, but maybe not dreams within dreams, that seems like a lot of work.