When My 'Elevator Speech' Needs Elevating

“What kind of rate of return are you getting?”

He’s asked the question and I’m scrambling to figure out how did we get to this horrible place.

I look down. In one of my hands there’s punch contained by a small clear plastic cup, and something fancy on a cracker in the other. It’s like the scene from ‘Inception’ where Leonardo Di Caprio’s character points out you never remember how a dream started and asks, “so how did we end up here?”

In this case, however, I can remember how we ended up here, and it’s all my fault. A few moments ago, this nice man asked me a perfectly valid question for a business card mingle, “What do you do?” Before answering, I did what I sometimes do, which is pause, think about the vast scope that my work entails, try to think of a quick way to summarize it, and then chicken out and say exactly the last thing I should say: “Well, I’m a Financial Security Advisor.” What a terrible answer.

Why was it a terrible answer? I didn’t answer his question. Priding myself on being a great listener in an industry that needs great listeners, I didn’t tell him what I do, I told him what I’m called.

It is my official title, it’s what is used for marketing materials, and if I were to hand you a business card, it would be right there:

Galen Nuttall, M.Ed.

Financial Security Advisor

The problem is my business card barely knows me. It certainly doesn’t know what I do. It spends most of its time in a suit pocket in my closet. It knows my title, but looking at it will give you little insight into what it is I actually do.

And this led him to ask a question I get all the time, “what kind of rate of return are you getting?” That’s because when I panicked and declined to tell him what I do, opting instead to tell him my title, he filled in the blanks of what a financial security advisor does. In his case, as with many people, what he filled in was something like this: “I get people high returns on their investments, because that’s the best way to measure success.” And who can blame him? Turn on the news, read a blog on investing, or pick up a book on stock picking. The be-all end-all measure for success of an “investment guy” is often boiled down to two things:

Low fees.
“High” rate of return.

And if the first answer is deemed sufficiently low and the second answer sufficiently high, people slap some stars or thumbs up on that puppy and call it a day. I’m about to show you to what extent these two points miss the mark of what it is I do. Spoiler alert… they completely miss the mark.

Now, let’s pretend by some miracle I’ve been given a do-over, the hands of time rewind and a voice (maybe Leo’s) says: “Galen, let’s try again, swallow that bacon-wrapped water chestnut, and tell this man what you do.”

I clear my throat and say: “I help busy professionals sleep better at night.” Assuming he wants to hear more, he’ll let me continue. “I help passionate individuals define their personal and professional goals, then set up a strategy to meet those goals. I coach them along the way and focus on what makes a difference and tune out that which does not. I help them feel clarity and calm around their financial lives. I strive to care about them more than any other professional they’ve ever met. If they have a corporation I make sure it’s a sail for their financial ship and not an anchor. Last of all, I know I’ve done a good job when, at some point in time they tell me that they feel at peace around their finances, or the ultimate compliment, that they sleep better at night thanks to me.”

Still interested in what rate of return I’m getting? Don’t get me wrong, I do look at long term rates of return, I do help align portfolios with clients’ plans, but it is not my sole focus or measure of success. I’ve met a lot of people whose sense of calm and direction help them sleep and none whose quarterly investment statements help them sleep, no matter what they look like.

Maybe as a father of two small children, I overvalue a good nights' sleep, but for me it is truly the ultimate compliment. And when I do help my clients sleep better at night, I hope they have great dreams, but maybe not dreams within dreams, that seems like a lot of work.

Imagine there is a storm coming. The only thing the experts know for certain is that it is coming. It could happen tomorrow, it could happen seven years from now. And they don’t know what type it will be: snow, rain, sleet, no idea.

Where would you be wise to focus your energy? Speculating as to what type of storm it will be? Listening to podcasts, weather reports, and talk radio all guessing about when the storm will come?

Or… preparing? Making sure you have rain gear if it’s a rain storm, snow tires if it’s a snow storm, and batteries, clean water, and imperishable food that will be useful in any type of storm?

I hope you said the latter. If you didn’t, maybe we should chat.

I’m using the storm as an analogy. For what? For a stock market crash. I think every expert out there will agree that most investors today will face another market crash, as they have faced in the past, before they’re done caring about what happens to their investments. (For the rest of this article I will use “sale” instead of “crash.” I find it to be a far more accurate word as to what actually happens.)

The younger you are, the more sales you will likely experience before you retire and, God willing, you’ll live to a ripe old age and see a few more. But they have no idea when. Grab the five closest blogs, podcasts, or nightly economic reports to where you are sitting right now, and you’ll be very lucky to find a consensus as to when the next sale will be or what it will look like. And even when there is a consensus, it’s not usually overwhelmingly accurate.

Now, if you agree with my declaration that a sale will happen and the rest is commentary, I return to my original question. If you don’t agree, that’s fine read on, or don’t.

You know a sale is coming (I’m loving the word ‘sale’ already). But you don’t know how deep the discounts will be and you don’t know when the sale will happen, but it will happen.

Where will you focus your energy, on speculating or preparing? Will you set aside some money to make the most of the sale, will you create and continue the good habits that have gotten other people through the biggest sales in history? Or will you guess which stores will participate and when?

The larger question is this: will you spend your time influencing what you control, or worrying about that which you do not control?

I could ask this of every area of my life. For example, I’ve needed to lose weight for the better part of a decade and I spend way more time complaining and worrying about my weight than doing the things I know work: counting calories, and planning my meals.

I would argue that the media is the same. If your favourite financial magazine broke financial planning down to it’s key elements, each edition would look something like this: save more, spend less, and protect your income. If the three panelists on your nightly news did the same, they’d have no reason to get excited about the markets because no matter what the markets do, the keys to financial security remain a happy constant: save more, spend less, and protect your income. The good news, they are all things you can control and they work; the bad news is, they’re all things you control.

Why? Why do I complain rather than act? Why do the pundits speculate instead of educate? Why are we asked to turn our focus to what we cannot control rather than to that which we can? Lean in, and let me whisper it... Because it’s easier.

It is far easier for me to focus on what I cannot control than manage my own behaviors. The same is true of investing. What do you mean you’ve figured out what I need to put away each month to retire when I want and live a life of dignity and choice? I’d much rather speculate about the price of gold and the geo-political impact of the migration of the monarch butterfly. Actually take action, today, towards my goals? No thanks.

The role I play in the lives of my clients with investments is overwhelmingly the role of someone who helps them manage their behaviors to a goal. Set up plan then don’t blow it up. Don’t panic when the market sales kick in, and don’t get euphoric when the booms hit. Stick to the plan. Influence what you can, and give only marginal attention to that which you do not.

It’s calm, it’s quiet, it’s methodical, it’s comforting.

So my dear friend, a storm will hit, I don’t know anything else, but I’d love to chat about what you can do to prepare. And I'll give you better battery advice than I've taken myself. I realized I have piles of C and D batteries. What do these even power and why do I have so many?